Wendy: What does this guy do?

Me: Uh, I guess he’s a director.

Wendy: Finally! Gee, you had to turn 30 before you stopped dating hotel valets with handlebar mustaches!

Me: You win.

Frank was pretty cool, he wore hip glasses and he could envision any idea you threw at him. I gathered all of this on our first meeting/date. Then one misunderstanding changed everything.

Joe was having a BBQ at his house and I invited Frank. My other friend Claudia was also going to the BBQ, but Claudia is a vegetarian. (Who invited the vegetarian to the BBQ?!)

Before the BBQ, Joe called and asked if I minded bringing Portabello mushrooms for Claudia and a case of Coca-Cola. No problem. Then Frank calls.

Frank: Hey, do you need me to bring anything to the BBQ?

Me: Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m going to stop and get some mushrooms and coke. 

Frank: (Silence) I’m in recovery.

Me: Oh! How funny! I meant Portobello mushrooms and soda, not drugs.

We had a laugh then he preceded to tell me about his Oxycontin addiction and how he lost everything and lives with his parents. Hmm. tough break. I get it, he was sweet. So I ended up dating my not quite fabulous boyfriend for a month just to prove I wasn’t freaked out that he was almost 40 and lived in his parents basement. I hope he is still on the wagon!