For those of you who don’t already know, May has been dubbed “Zombie Appreciation Month” by an organization called “The Zombie Rights Campaign.” While I applaud any zombie who stands up and fights against our mass extermination, this political dialogue is not the answer to our problems. We’ve already learned from the civil rights movement that human understanding grows at a glacial pace, and as a zombie, I’m too pissed off to be asking the uninfected for their appreciation. If you want to negotiate with them, do it by bringing their civilization to its knees; you’re bound to get better terms that way. And has the ZRC forgotten that freshies are what we eat? If a person wants bacon, they don’t waste time trying to first win the approval of the pig.
It’s hard to denounce a group like the ZRC because their intentions are good. I just hope we don’t lose too many undead brothers and sisters in the pointless pursuit of kinship with our natural born enemies.